Stress, Anxiety, Burnout…

A little bit of stress is perfectly normal and in fact it keeps us healthy. We need some stress in our lives in order to thrive, it helps us solve problems, pushes us on to bigger and better things, heightens our responses.

But sometimes stress overwhelms us.

We live in a fast-paced world with multiple demands on our time and attentions, and technology that means we’re always switched ‘on’, available 24/7, not to mention social media influences making us feel like we don’t do enough, have enough, we aren’t enough. It’s increasingly difficult to stay on top everything and that has a detrimental impact on our health and happiness, our emotional wellbeing, relationships, ability to work effectively… it affects your enjoyment in life.

And the bigger that feeling of overwhelm gets, the more out of control you feel, the more stressed you become. It’s hard to see the wood for the trees.

What happens then?

We evolved to live with acute stress – short, sharp periods of intense stress that helped our primitive ancestors hunt and survive. Unfortunately most people now live with chronic stress, a drip-feed of micro-stressors and big ones too, that means stress hormones like cortisol and adrenalin are constantly released into your system keeping you in a state of hyper-alertness. It’s all so exhausting! Not to mention the fall out of being over-sensitive and over-reactive when you’d much rather be calm and responsive, feeling irritable and angry, lacking resilience to cope well when faced with even the smallest stimulant – and it’s often the smallest thing that tips you over the edge!

You might find yourself stuck in a vicious cycle of negative thinking, lacking motivation, closed-down thinking, alongside numerous physical symptoms like sore muscles from holding tension in the body, headaches, heart palpitations, sleep issues, panic attacks, relying on things like alcohol, sugar, drugs, gambling to get you through the day…

Under prolonged stress, your ability to function normally is impaired, your behaviours may change as you struggle until your body eventually takes over and you go into burnout.

What can you do about it?

The solution is within you, it’s about developing your self-awareness and understanding what keeps you on an even keel, what triggers stress overload for you, having coping strategies that both prevent it from taking over and help you in a moment of overwhelm, so you have the ability to help yourself out of it (and you don’t stay there too long).

And that’s where therapy can help. It’s not about being told what to do or being given a prescriptive set of actions, instead it’s about drawing out the best solution for you, that works in your life. After all, you are the expert in you! By tuning into your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself, separating fact from fiction, and learning some techniques that will support you,  you can make any changes you wish to.

Working with an experienced therapist who can guide you through the steps, you can become the person you wish to be instead of being the person you happen to be.

It all begins here

Simply call me on 07919 415900, email me at geraldine@geraldinejoaquim.co.uk, or complete the enquiry form on my contact page.

I can help you get back to the real you…

Sleep… we all want it but it can be so elusive!

Sleep is intimately entwined with stress. Most people recognise that their sleep patterns change when they’re going through a stressful period such as sitting exams, relationship breakdown, financial worries, moving house, or even excitement like going on holiday, getting married, starting a new job.

It’s a short-term issue that usually settles down once the stressor has passed, but sometimes that altered sleep pattern persists beyond the incident, morphing into long-term insomnia which can last months or even years.

And stress also exacerbates existing sleep disorders such as night terrors, sleep talking or walking, night screaming, teeth grinding, sleep paralysis.

What happens then?

You feel exhausted! You’re prone to reaching for sugary/fatty foods to shore up your flagging energy levels, maybe relying on coffee or energy drinks to keep you going, and you probably find yourself nodding off sometime during the day.

Anyone who has suffered from poor sleep (and that’s 99% of adults at some time in their life!) will recognise the feeling – fatigue, woolly-headed, poor memory, lacking motivation, issues with balance and being more accident prone.

And then there are the serious physical consequences of prolonged lack of sleep:

• Weight gain
• High blood pressure
• Impaired immune system
• Higher risk of developing diabetes and heart disease
• Higher risk of degenerative neural diseases such as Alzheimer’s Disease.

What can you do about it?

Firstly, it’s important to understand what the issue is whether it’s:

1. External physical disturbance such as noise or light, pets, young children
2. Internal physical disturbance such as aches and pains, trips to the loo, hot flushes
3. Mental disturbance such as an overly busy mind, stress, worries

The good news is that whatever form of sleep disturbance you’re experiencing, you can do something about it – other than resorting to sleeping tablets! It all lies in understanding your particular sleep needs and how you can set yourself up for a good night’s sleep. This may not mean you achieve ‘perfect’ sleep but in reality, there is no such thing, it’s about getting enough good quality sleep for you so that you feel better and can get on with thriving in your life.

And hypnotherapy is an excellent resource, it supports the REM phase of sleep (part of your emotional processing mechanism) as well as helping to re-programme your brain to sleep better.

It all begins here

Simply call me on 07919 415900, email me at geraldine@geraldinejoaquim.co.uk, or complete the enquiry form on my contact page.

Your better sleep isn’t far away…

Ditch the extra weight – forever!

If you’ve ever lost weight, gained it back, lost it again, but it all comes back and more, then you might want to consider a new approach, one that supports you to lose the weight once and for all.

When you go on a Diet, that’s an eating plan that someone else has designed without knowing anything about you or your lifestyle, and there’s an expectation of short-term success (you lose a few pounds) for a finite time (because no one can eat steamed chicken and broccoli for the rest of their lives – and you probably wouldn’t you want to!), so you ‘break’ the Diet.

The Diet Industry is built on keeping you in a cycle of restrictive eating, followed by failure, and the assumption is that the problem is YOU! You didn’t stick to the food plan, you didn’t do the exercise, you didn’t have the willpower… you failed.

What happens then?

You feel stuck in the cycle, it’s either feast or famine, you’re being good on the Diet… or very, very bad off it! It all takes it’s toll on your mind as well as your body, you lose confidence in yourself and your ability to be in control of your choices, which can leak into other areas of your life.

 

You feel fat, unattractive, your clothes don’t fit, you hold yourself back from doing activities that might ‘show you up’, you compare yourself unfavourably against your friends and even against complete strangers, you avoid mirrors or having pictures taken, negative thoughts go round and round and round…

It feels like you’re on a rollercoaster and you just want it to stop!

What can you do about it?

It’s time to take a different approach. You see, it’s not your fault. It isn’t about having enough willpower or being controlled by an external structure (following that Diet plan).

The key to successful weight loss and management starts in your mind.

I developed The Kickstart Programme to help you. This is not a short-term weight loss plan, there are no diet sheets to follow or exercises to do, because you already know what foods are healthy that you actually like, you know what works in your life, and you know how to lose the weight.

The issue isn’t really about losing weight, it’s about losing over a longer period until you actually get to your goal weight, and keeping it off.

No matter how much weight you want to lose, whether you have a ‘sweet tooth’ or you’re a ‘comfort eater’, whether you’ve yo-yo dieted your whole life or you’ve never had a problem before but you find the weight has crept on as you got older or your lifestyle changed, this programme is for you!

Combining education, coaching and hypnotherapy, it helps to re-set your thoughts and behaviours around food. And you’ll discover a renewed confidence in yourself.

The programme is available on a 1-2-1 basis either in person or via Zoom (£290 for 4 sessions), and also at a reduced cost as part of a group on set dates via Zoom only (£95 for 3 sessions).

It all begins here

Simply call me on 07919 415900, email me at geraldine@geraldinejoaquim.co.uk, or complete the enquiry form on my contact page.

For more information on the programme, visit https://destressrefresh.samcart.com/products/kickstart-your-weight-loss-group

It’s time to lose the weight and keep it off…

Coping with Menopausal Symptoms

The menopause happens to 50% of the population and yet there’s still a lot of mystery surrounding it. Essentially, it involves a rapid decline in the production of sex hormones (oestrogen, progesterone, testosterone). It’s the opposite of puberty really, as the body gets ready for the next phase in life, the non-reproductive era.

Here are some facts:

• In the UK, the average age women reach menopause is 51 but it can be anything between 44-55 (or earlier, or later)
• Menopause is defined as the one day following a full year of not having any periods
• Symptoms may start in the years preceding menopause, referred to as perimenopause
• 75% of women experience some symptoms, of which 25% experience serious symptoms
• There are 34 ‘official’ symptoms, they can be both mental and physical (however there are many other symptoms you may experience outside this list)
• The most commonly experienced symptoms are hot flushes, fatigue, anxiety, disrupted sleep, hair loss, memory lapses, difficulty concentrating

What happens then?

Whether you experience some of the more extreme symptoms (night sweats, anxiety, panic attacks, burning mouth syndrome, dry eye syndrome, vaginal atrophy) or you have milder symptoms, it can feel like you’re losing control of your mind and body, and without a doubt it can be unsettling and take some time to adjust to.

It’s like nature is drawing a line through your life – on one side you have youth, and on the other side lies old age!

What can you do about it?

It’s worth visiting your doctor to talk about HRT options, but whether you decide to go on it or not there are plenty of things you can do to help alleviate symptoms and cope with this change.

• Reducing stress – cortisol (stress hormone) works in balance with oestrogen: the more cortisol you release, the less oestrogen. So, just by including relaxation and stress reduction strategies into your life you’ll be helping to support your dwindling oestrogen production.
• Reframing how you see menopause – your brain is very good at giving you whatever you’re looking for. If you perceive this life stage as a disaster, something to be frightened of, then your brain will focus on those emotions and keep giving you more evidence to support your negative thoughts. On the other hand, if you maintain a positive outlook, being curious about the changes, then you’ll find you cope better, and your hormones will be positively affected too.
• Lifestyle supports your hormones – looking after your nutritional needs, sleep, movement and relaxation will all help you to manage your symptoms better. HRT is not a magic pill, yes it can help enormously but it can’t pull the whole load, you also have a responsibility to look after yourself too (and of course you might not be able to have HRT due to medical history)

It all begins here

Simply call me on 07919 415900, email me at geraldine@geraldinejoaquim.co.uk, or complete the enquiry form on my contact page.

Wellness coaching can help you to focus on looking after you…

Getting the Best Out of You

Whether you’re an athlete, a performer, you’re giving a speech, or you simply want to boost your self-confidence, hypnotherapy has a great track record when it comes to getting your mindset in the right place to win!

“All battles are first won or lost, in the mind.” – Joan of Arc

We all have an inner critic, that little voice inside who criticises us, saying things like “You’re not good enough…”, “You’re not clever enough…”, “You’ll never succeed…”, “You’ll be found out soon…”, “Why bother, you’re only going to fail…” or the demoralising voice that says, “Don’t try, it’s too hard…”, “Stay where you are, don’t rock the boat…”

What happens then?

You might hear different words but they’re all the same really, just variations on the same theme of negative thoughts and self-beliefs. Here’s the thing, they’re not real but they affect you nonetheless, eliciting a range of unhelpful emotions and behaviours, making you feel anxious or depressed, losing motivation to even try.

It’s all part of your subconscious brain’s attempts to keep you ‘safe’ – but safe isn’t what you always need or want!

It’s important not to confuse your desire to win, or perform, or feel confident in whatever you’re doing with a show of ‘fake it ‘til you make it’. That can lead to more anxiety and negativity, issues like imposter syndrome and even lower self-confidence!

What can you do about it?

Using a range of techniques including NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and SFBT (solution focused brief therapy), alongside hypnosis and guided visualisations, you can get your subconscious to align with your wishes.

Through developing your self-awareness, understanding that your thoughts are not fact but merely an interpretation, you can start to manage those negative voices, and that in turn will begin the process of boosting your self-confidence.

With the support of an experienced therapist, you can look forward to creating your preferred future and through mental rehearsal, you’re paving the way to making it a reality.

I have personally worked with a number of clients in this field, from top athletes to business people who are moving into senior roles that require them to give presentations and speeches. I can draw on my own personal experiences of taking part in triathlons, marathon and ultra-marathons, teaching workshops, giving talks (you can see my TEDx here), and in my previous career as a sales and marketing consultant giving presentations and training sessions.

It all begins here

Simply call me on 07919 415900, email me at geraldine@geraldinejoaquim.co.uk, or complete the enquiry form on my contact page.

Hypnotherapy can help you reach your full potential…

I’m sorry to tell you… it’s cancer

Those words are devasting.

I know because I’ve been on the receiving end of them. In 2020 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, thankfully it was an early detection and following a couple of operations and a treatment of radiotherapy, I was given the all-clear in 2021.

So, from my own experience it was natural that I wanted to help others cope through their diagnosis as well as supporting the people around – because cancer doesn’t just happen to one person, it affects the whole family.

Whilst there was (and continues to be) considerable support available for me, I know my husband felt helpless, worrying about how he could support me and our children but without any support himself.

And the whole experience for everyone is stressful, from the numerous trips back and forth to hospital, the scans and treatment as well as long term medication, it’s natural to have worries and to feel anxious.

What happens then?

All that stress doesn’t help you whether you’re the one going through treatment, or you’re a family member wanting to help as much as you can. Being stressed results in closed down thinking, it feeds into itself, worries build on worries, until it becomes overwhelming.

It impacts on your sleep, it causes tension in the muscles which can lead to aches and pains, tension headaches, poor digestion, upset stomach – and it even impairs your immune system which really isn’t what you need right now!

What can you do about it?

Understanding how the stress response system works will help you to cope so much better, and the better you can cope the less anxious you’ll feel which means you come through the whole experience in a lot better way both mentally and physically.

When we relax we stay in control, we have a greater capacity to see things clearly and we tend to be more positive which can only be a good thing – this doesn’t mean you’re mindlessly upbeat, by the way, but rather you can respond to what’s happening in a way that supports you rather than spiralling down into low mood or anxiety that, frankly, doesn’t help anyone.

You can develop tools that work for you, techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga, grounding exercises, guided visualisation… there are lots available and it’s about finding the best options for you, the activities that you find enjoyable alongside knowing they are good for your health in the long term.

And whether you’re the one going through cancer or you’re a close family member, the more capacity you have to cope, the more capacity you have to support others.

It all begins here

Simply call me on 07919 415900, email me at geraldine@geraldinejoaquim.co.uk, or complete the enquiry form on my contact page.

Relaxing can help you to build resilience, whatever life throws at you…

Aren’t you tired of being held back?

That’s what living with a phobia or having fears does, it holds you back from enjoying your own life.

Phobias originate during times of high emotional arousal, they can happen in one incident, or they can develop over time, with repeated exposure and they can be catching! For example, if you had a parent who hated spiders and as a child you saw their reaction every time they saw one, screaming, running out of the room, calling for help… wouldn’t it be natural for you to develop the same aversion?

However your phobia started, it’s all about building templates of behaviour that are lodged deep in your brain, they dictate how you will respond every time you come into contact with that trigger, whether it’s a fear of heights, flying, driving on motorways, spiders, wasps, snakes, needles or the dentist!

What happens then?

They grow stronger with each experience until they start to dictate your life.

You no longer want to get on an aeroplane which means missing out on holidays, you can’t sit in that dentist’s chair so your health suffers, you feel overwhelmed when it’s time to have an injection and put it off, you take long diversions to avoid getting on the motorway, you no longer enjoy outdoor summer parties because you’re worried about freaking out if you see a wasp.

And those phobias can be tricky, they can ‘jump’ if you’re not careful – a fear of heights becomes a fear of going up in lifts, it becomes a fear of being in any tall building… it starts to have an impact on your everyday life, not just those rare instances.

What can you do about it?

The good news is, you made the template for the phobia so you can change it or ditch it altogether!

You see, your brain is simply trying to keep you safe and every time you responded to that stressor in that particular way, your brain thinks it’s an appropriate response because you survived, didn’t you. So it reinforces that template.

We can use your own brain’s mechanisms to unravel it, and clear the phobia out altogether. Using a highly effective NLP (neurolinguistic programming) technique together with hypnosis, you’ll be able to take back control of your responses.

 It all begins here

Simply call me on 07919 415900, email me at geraldine@geraldinejoaquim.co.uk, or complete the enquiry form on my contact page.

Stop living with fear, start getting the most out of your life…